17 Days and 16 Nights in Berlin – Day 3 – Berghain

Day 3 of my Berlin diary. Day 1 is here.


For those of you who don’t know what the Berghain is: It is a club (they called them, more correctly, discotheque, or disco, back in the day.) This one plays so-called „Techno music“.  The Berghain is one of the strangest places on this planet and a highlight of my trip.

My original plan was to go into the Berghain Saturday at midnight. But I did not feel like waiting in line for 2, 3 or 4 hours again, so went in on Sunday morning at 9. Good choice, there was NO line at all.  (When I left in the afternoon, the line was about 120 steps long, which is what you usually see.)

The parties go from Saturday night to Monday morning. Nice! In Munich (where I live) they are always in the night. Very tired the next day.

Here’s a text about this club from last year, but in German. Let me try to describe the Berghain briefly in English.


Hmm… I can’t.

Nothing I can write here would do the place justice. Any description of it is pointless. It has to be experienced.

If you’ve been there, you probably know, what I mean. If you’ve not, I could not begin to describe it without writing a whole BOOK about it.

Let me just say this for people who think like my conservative mother: If she went in, she would not believe her own eyes. Or assume that she is clearly in some kind of dystopian nightmare, a hell, where simultaneously a thunderstorm, and earthquake, an orgy and the zombie apocalypse are taking place. She would run away at once, terrified, disgusted, shocked. To me, again, the Berghain is one of the most intense and best experiences one can have. What a place!

But this morning I am worried: The club is very full, but one can relatively easily move about, here’s even some small space here and there on the dance floor. Is the Berghain going out of fashion, I ask myself anxiously. Little did I know.

After just 6 hours I felt tired and walked back to my hotel. Ate, slept. Woke up at 21:00.
What does one do on a Sunday evening in Berlin? Logical analysis is called for, here. Let’t see:
– I already spent 6 hours in the Berghain
– My clothes are lying over there, smelling like shit. (They smelled like shit.)
– I am rested, my stomach is filled.
– Look, the stamp from the Berghain is still clearly visible on the back of my hand!
I get into those clothes and go back.

Because I have a stamp I don’t have to wait in the regular line, but the one for guests is also long. Took 45 minutes.

Berghain, the short line

Inside it felt like a different place from before: It was PACKED! Really PACKED! (Think sardines here.)

I like being on the small platforms in the front and back of the main dance floor. They feel crowded with 3 people, now there’s half a dozend on each.
(„Look! Penis!“)

I walked up to the Panorama Bar, the other dance floor, looking for SPACE. No chance. From the balcony one can look down on the main dance floor. I beheld a sight that made me think of tadpoles. A bowl of 2000 squirming, wiggling beige tadpoles, twitching to the beat of this thunderous music.

When dancing for hours, one gets hot, so (and for other reasons) most of the dancers down there were at least half naked. And sweating.
I am wearing the tight tanktop my good wife bought me for my Techno parties. I knew: If I go down into that boiling broth of…human, become part of it, I would collect the sweat of hundreds of strangers on my naked arms and shoulders. Disgusting!
But in I went, mom.


Schreibe einen Kommentar

Deine E-Mail-Adresse wird nicht veröffentlicht.