17 Days and 16 Nights in Berlin – Day 9 – Vulva, Art, Dildos, Tresor

Day 9 of my Berlin diary. Day 1 is here.

My life is almost perfect!

1 – I am less tired. My body is in sync with my nocturnal lifestyle now.

2- I finally found what I was looking for!

3 – Thanks to my favorite escort lady, when I look in the direction of my bed I am looking at a sweet vulva that’s lying there, waiting for me to lick it!

But first things first.

Salome Balthus, who is my favorite escort*, told me about an art thing at her favorite restaurant here. I go there. Salome thanks me for mentioning her in my blog yesterday by giving me a quick kiss on the cheek.
I find that especially touching because for her it is not just some odd kiss on someone’s cheek, for her it’s a free kiss!

(*That does not mean much, though. I only met her and her girlfriend very briefly yesterday. But as I only know these two escorts, Salome is my favorite escort now. By the way, me knowing this celebrity makes me a meta-celebrity, does it not? You may ask me for autographs.)

The art thing is a PR event of the restaurant Nobelhart & Schmutzig about the vulva in art.

The most interesting example (for me) was this: They had made casts of women’s vulvas and then used these casts and caramel to make these objects.


Every visitor of the event got one as a present.

The restaurant is quite good, I hear.

I do not stay long, but walk (and walk and walk) to Kreuzberg to visit the Künstlerhaus Bethanien.

Came across this beautiful old building on the way

This museum „is dedicated to the advancement of contemporary visual arts“. Here some images of the current exhibitions.


Afterward I walk for a short while and arrive at the Museum of Things. It „chronicles the product culture of the 20th and 21st centuries, a culture marked by mass production and industrial manufacturing. “

This  is another interesting museum not only because we all grew up with things, many of which are on display here.

A kitchen from 1928. Developed for convenience of the housewife and for industrial production.

What confuses me, though, is their current exhibition about things having to do with sex. Over there, in the room at the end of the aisle, its walls painted pink.

Among other objects (of which I think I know what they are for) they show a great number of dildo things.

Sorry for the lousy image quality. You need to use your imagination here.

Confused I marvel at these wonders of human engineering and horniness (Look at that! The spell checker does not know this word.)

Jesus Darwin!“ I shout in my head, „What the fuck are these for?“

There’s one, meant for clitoral stimulation, that a person (not me) can wear whilst going shopping or to a concert (it is very quiet it says here) and all the while control it from their smartphone through Bluetooth!
Finally a worthy purpose for the hard work of the Bluetooth Special Interest Group!

I walk to this vegan restaurant and eat very good gnocchi. (But this word my spellchecker knows. WTF?)

At night: Tresor, a club that attempts to play the best Techno. And Darwin, they do!

Deep in theTresor

I arrive shortly after midnight. They have two (or more?) dance floors. The interior of the place is a MAZE OF TWISTY LITTLE PASSAGES, ALL DIFFERENT. (Is anyone still alive who understands this reference? Doubt it.)

I walk down into the basement, where I belong. The DJs play behind steel bars. Playing the warm-up is Sebastian Bayne. And what a fantastic set he plays! Great speed, „hypnotic“, dark, minimal. Dynamic flow.

It is unbelievable. All week long I am looking for this kind of music, here I find it.

Every few minutes my body dissolves into a cloud of pure bliss. Ummmmm…..   Ohhhh…. I moan. (Read more in the passage about baths and orgasms here.)

Although the DJ is physically not my type (too masculine and probably has a thingy), I quickly fall deeply in love with him because he knows how to treat me right!

I come to stand in the front row, right in front of the huge, thundering speakers. They play so loud, the air movement almost throws you backward. (One needs really good hearing protection here.)

„Come ye subwoofers, pulverize my foundations and let me on yer winds fly through the night!“

(Or so.)

The set is so gripping, I cannot leave my place before the DJs change, at 3:30. Now I go to the bar, buy liquid, go back. My place is taken by a guy and his girlfriend. I stand in the 2nd row.

They guy sees this, steps back and indicates I should take his place!

„GO HERE, I KNOW YOU LOVE THE SPEAKERS“, he yells. (In English. Half the time they speak English where I roam.)
„NONONO YOU GO“ I yell back, polite as I am.
„THANK YOU. I LOVE YOU TOO!“ And step forward. 

Such are we Techno people!

The main act play a really elaborate set (these guys are good!) but every now and then they do the fancy stuff, which disrupts the flow a bit. Looking at the crowd I think they also are less interested in learning that the DJs know their knobs, but in flying. Otherwise a GREAT set!

(I still like the first one better because of the unimpeded flow.)

At 8am I walk out of this almost completely dark cavern into a bright, sunny morning. How confusing at first.

Executive summary (at the end, where it should be)

This is the best Techno by a wide margin I heard all week. If you love Techno (and don’t need to see penises and nipples – I saw none), go to the Tresor!

Update: See here. The following weekend was different. Well… it always depends on the respective DJ.

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